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It's not a bad application but I think there is a lot of rambling in the app where you don't really say anything at all. The backstory part is great, I just wish this would carry over into the main body of the application. You mention many times about 'creating RP scenarios' but you don't actually tell us what these scenarios are.
I think you may be on to something, but you need to make your application stand out and show us EXACTLY how it's different from other factions. Don't be afraid to get specific and in depth, it's only going to help you.
PRO:
- Backstory is well written and I enjoyed the story behind it, and I liked the way it was written from someone's perspective.
- Ethnicity is different than the usual, which is always good to see.
CON
- Low playtime, as others have stated your playtime is quite low.
- Assumptions on the racket. Your entire application is pretty much based on you getting a weapons racket. Without it, you're going to have to funnel guns through a faction who already has it - which is going to be difficult. I think you'd of been better to make a point that the faction also has a lucrative drug trade that way you're covered for whichever racket you are given.
- In the 'Provide examples of roleplay' you actually don't say anything. You mention 'jobs' but give no example of what these jobs are. You then start talking about a made man ceremony which every faction has, but give no examples of how yours is different from anyone else, you just simply say 'they swear loyalty to X'.
- The AEY thing is unnecessary, and at its heart is still a gun shop. If you're going to include this - Give us more, it seems very quickly slapped together.