Fox

Simps

You didn't even try with this one, I'm not even gonna waste my time giving you constructive criticism.

Joy Division

-1 PRO - I like the application style, in that it is supposed to be a sort of FBI terminal. I however think you could've pushed it a bit further and made it look even more like a terminal. - I liked the backstory at times. CON - Struggled to read this story at times. In one paragraph you use 'Giovanni’s men' 4 times. - There is way too many names in here, you lose track very easy. - If this is supposed to be an FBI terminal, why does it read like a story book? pick one format. - You said it yourself. There are already a bunch of Italian families. You claim you want to do things differently, but give NO examples whatsoever. - You havent played since '24 and have just got back on. It's very unlikely you have actually played much since then. So the idea of 'I want to do something different than the other italian families, is kind of null because you haven't even had a chance to see what they're doing. - 6 days of playtime in 2 years isn't enough to run a faction, especially an Italian one. - The way your paragraph's are laid out, made it feel like a wall of text.

Faction was added before you even played the server. Ran for two years, in that time we owned 3 store fronts (pre map change), the club and the motel. Lil bro has no idea what he's talking about lmaoo

Get back to grinding bricks for the Don You go to work in the dark and you go home in the fucking dark

I mean, there's nothing stopping you from having conflict RP with another faction other than your own limitations. You have some drama with another factions? send some dudes down to their business and cause trouble. Drive by and shoot at the building / windows, making escalations get more heated to initiate sit downs etc. Nobody is stopping you from doing this, other than y'all being wimps.

-1 Lackluster application that doesn't really make sense. IMO you had the chance to do something quite unique and kind of flopped it. PRO - I see what you're trying to do, and I'll give props where it's due. - Decent enough RP ideas. Not sure if they'll pan out the way you're expecting though - Decent enough play time. CON - Togna Bologna is a dumb name and I can't take it seriously. - Your backstory is an absolute mess. What are you, a charitable organisation, a cult, a criminal enterprise... your backstory does not explain this at all. There are parts of it that dont make sense, you even spelled your characters name wrong at one point. You also mention 'the home' 11 times and 'the hand' 7 times - The cult idea is entirely lost. A cult isn't a brotherhood of individuals trying to make a city better, it's a fanatical group which usually has an eccentric leader who controls the people below him, you are not describing this in your backstory. - If you're a cult I want to know outright what your rank is, Supreme Leader, Grand Master? this should be absolutely pivotal to your backstory, and how your character rose to that rank and or gave himself the rank. - I hate this idea of 'we're going to clean up the city by locking up buildings and making sure places are protected, people will consider you a nuisance. - You call yourself the 'Hand of Paimon' but make no link to what 'Paimon' is? IMO (take these suggestions with a pinch of salt.) - You should really play into the cult idea and really go full hog with it, become fanatics who believe some mad shit, like you (the faction leader) are an actual descendent of God, and the people in your factions are disciples. - Whilst I said I hate the 'clean up the city' stuff, I do understand why you included it... IMO you should flip that too and instead of cleaning up the city, be the ones that are causing the damage. 'The Lucchese's are none-believers... we will show them no mercy'. There is no fear in the city anymore, a full blown heel faction of cultists could change that

+1 (this was a -1 until I saw the backstory link at the end lmao) Good application IMO, I really hope you guys utilize boats and include the sea/docks as part of your 'turf', that would be incredibly interesting. PRO - Diverse - Great play time - Big push on better RP - Some good ideas, and you're actively taking a stand against standing around security RP, which is a massive + for me. - Enjoyed the backstory and the real RP images complemented it. CON - Choosing your racket as cocaine, whilst that may be correct in the actual Galician Mob - it's not a guarantee in DV.

You also cannot handle criticism without going on the defence.

Then your application with forever be mediocre, at best. It's not a 'custom', you need to make your application stand out and be original and you've basically said you're not going to do anything unique so GL.

So standing around RP? Disagree entirely. This is not enough time to understand what it requires to not only be high command, but being able to run a faction. As someone who comments on pretty much every faction post, is a long time member of the community and has run a successful faction in the past - this is worrying that you believe my points aren't valid.

-1 All in all, I think this would run a lot better as a civilian faction rather than randomly adding a crime aspect to it. PRO - Diverse ethnicity CON - Backstory leaves a lot to be desired. Lots of 'this happened' but not enough 'why' - Low playtime. - RP ideas are stale. Don't really see anything new in terms of RP ideas. When it boils down to it, you plan on running a shop. - Your whole faction idea doesn't make sense to me. You're 'low-violence'? to me that just reads like you're going to get bullied by everyone because you won't retaliate. IMO, you may be better creating this faction as a civilian faction and becoming Indian oil barons. - It would be great to see someone successfully run 'IOU's / Loans' but in my experience it doesn't really work. What do you have in place to stop people creating new characters, rocking up and asking for 20k and then them blowing it and getting PK'd by police? - I can honestly see this very quickly becoming a minge faction where people join to use an awful indian accent.