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the Mahri crime family


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-1 

2 days of playtime?

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+/-

Not a bad application but definitely things to consider.

 

PRO

- Different ethnicity

- Loved the backstory, (could be more but it was an enjoyable read)

 

CON

- Low playtime. It seems you have some sort of grasp on what is required to be a faction leader, but i'd still recommend getting some more time under your belt.

- Some of the RP ideas you wrote down seem to be quite generic, could do with being padded out a little and given more explanation

- The use of words like storyline and ' Now they're in Liberty City' make me wonder if you wrote this for a FiveM server and have copied and pasted it

- You make multiple references to cocaine, when in all likelihood if you got accepted, you wouldn't get the cocaine racket.

Edited by Fox
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