Your Character or Steam Name: Hilbert Picklebottom (Suburb Aphiliated on Diverge Bans)
Your SteamID (Click to retrieve): STEAM_0:1:69780698
Your Discord ID#: 666780178290311175
Reason for ban: Metagame | Extensive PO's
Length of ban: Permanent
Reason for appeal (dispute/apology): Apology
Why should you be unbanned?
I am choosing the apologetic approach because I failed the community, Canadian, and Pendred. When my second permanent ban appeal was accepted I was allowed back in on diverge with the pretense that I was changed and I would not receive further punishment. I did well in the beginning but after that period I immediately got back into the stuff that consistently got me in trouble whether it was IC or OOC. I got bored and I sought out shootouts, robberies, and PK's. In general I just showed a lack of fear of consequence to my actions and it showed with the consistent notes and bans. I admit that the last ban I received which is the one I am currently under was metagame as I intentionally avoided an RP scenario for one of my other char's benefits. In agreeance to James I began to repeatedly show that I treated this server with unseriousness and this last Metagame was the straw that broke the camels back and I am not going to refute it. Addressing my constant rule breaks is half the picture, what really matters is that I returned to my old ways that I said I moved past and I will list them out.
Here is a photo of my total notes and bans:
Muggings and Instigations:
I always wanted to pursue muggings, raids, and shootouts because it provided a source of entertainment and fun that I couldn't get from regular griding. After I was unbanned I stayed far away from instigating any shootouts at all and I halted mugging all together. For that nearly 2 month period I was entirely clean. I then learned more about the loophole of "being damaged by an officer negates any fear rp and instead makes it a death match" so I began regularly doing it on my taka char which was my main. I remember that I was told by my captain at the time, thinner, that I would have been made if I did not kill cops as much. I was already being shown signs that my actions were interfering with roleplay but instead I continued out of selfishness to pursue my own fun.
Many people including staff have insulted me by stating I don't have the ability to sit still and the truth is I don't. I need a constant entertainment and one of the biggest things I enjoyed was starting a shootout over little things such as this https://medal.tv/games/garrys-mod/clips/iV5ib8bh0SUaCJKsg?invite=cr-MSxPMTgsNzExMDk4Mjg . . Even Darkfire who was very supportive of this clip said that this was a pure nigga moment. Everyone there including myself escalated it unnecessarily and the entire situation could have been avoided if I didn't call the first black guy a nigger nor feed into the instigation after one of the Bonnanos called me a beaner.
Mugging was never about me getting clothes or drugs it was more about increasing my ego. I'm not going to try to sugar coat it or anything because I never wore the clothes I got from robbing aside from the NASA spaceman suit because it looked stupid and the Feds polo I got from a Cassano.
Most of the time I did these things out of selfishness and me wanting to increase my ego. I recognized it at the time but I always dismissed it and claimed that it was for profit. Now that I have seen the consequences to these actions I am able to say that I regret doing these things and I apologize to the people I have harmed while doing this, especially to the new players I knowingly lured to take drugs off of which ruined their perception of the server.
A lot of these things I still do to this day on servers like Perpheads and Prometheus because in all honesty its stuff that I enjoy but I have gotten burnt from consistently playing on the same server and seeing the same things happen the same way trough weeks and the thing is that these servers are built for conflict and that serves as its only purpose (Prom more less than Perp but it sees constant shootouts), diverge requires actual roleplay. Although yes I enjoy shootouts I feel like I don't gain as much anymore from the constant-ness of just always having to do something, this is a main reason as to why I'm burnt from perp. I don't feel like I want to nor need to do it as much.
Going OOC and general shit talking:
As I have said multiple times before I have a bad habit of speaking without thought and usually this would involve me going OOC. Since by definition Metagame is using OOC information (regardless to gain an advantage or not) it's still a rule break. Of course in the past I have said that I would work on it such as in this appeal
and then I proceeded to do the exact opposite and instead continue with my talks about certain people and what they have done. Especially towards MXR, I consistently talked about a subject that I personally feel should be widely known but regardless in a server setting all it would do is create unnecessary drama. All of my negative talking did was create drama and I knew this. I apologize to the people I harassed or painted untrue pictures about such as the owner of the NASA suit who repeatedly showed he wanted to get me permanently banned for bringing up accusations.
Minging:
I feel like this deserves its own section of addressing because I would constantly get described as a minge. Truth be told I rarely followed RP unless it was police RP or I was in a made man activity/meeting. Even on my Lucchese and Taka char I would sometimes dress like a retard and go out to seek conflict from acting stupid. I can also recall getting on my brown and sons char and going up to Bonnanos and doing "/me shakes big jiggly black ass a lil" and then running away once someone mentioned it. Along with this I did add the Dave Blunts suit in and I'm still amazed that Pendred did accept it and im really sorry to Anzati because I know he had to pay a good amount of money to get that added in. I did it all of this cause it was funny to me and I know it was weird and extremely stupid but like all of these other things I found enjoyment trough it. Regardless this wasn't a correct of way of rp'ing at all and I apologize to the people who I 100% weirded out and ruined the immersion of.
Hacking:
I feel like I need to talk about hacking because at the time of me playing the server there would be a lot of people stalking my medal. Although I do not exactly need to speak about this I still feel as though I should make a mention about this suspicion of me, it can weigh a good amount on if I do make a return or not. I have never cheated on a single Garry's mod server throughout the entire time of me owning this game and although in the past I have stated that I will ESP in a war that was not meant to be taken seriously. I honestly do understand were some of these staff are coming from because from a third person point of view and without my thought process it may seem as though im ESP'ing and even on Prometheus I 1v6'd and I was immediately met with aimbot accusations but the truth is I never have nor I never will inject any cheat especially on a server I have invested a lot of time in. I have a fear of doing something that can compromise my personal security online and installing a cheat and injecting it is too much uncomfortably for me to deal with.
Now that these things are out of the way I want to talk about why I want to come back right now
Why I am so desperate for this appeal to get accepted:
To put it bluntly, obviously at a time like this in server were all this conflict is going around I want to return. The things that are happening right now are things that I dreaded to do and I feel as though making a return at this time would extremely good for my betterment as a role player solely because it will get a lot of things out of my system such as toxicity and I will finally be able to get the closure of participating in an active conflict instead of going out and selfishly making one myself out of boredom. This is the main reason but it's not the only one.
I have recently been stalking the updates that this server has received and medal clips and I have heard a lot of things about the additions to evidence RP as well as the map. I know that places like Little Israel have changed entirely and ghetto has received extensions. Weed has also been changed to a nearly manual process, instead of having to water and go afk for 5 minutes there are more steps to it. PK's leave a mess now with a whole dead body spawning and there being good ways to get rid of them, you must pick up physical casings instead of having to do a /me, and black gloves have been added to remove the possibility of fingerprints being left in a crime scene. There has also been more quality of life updates and an issue I found myself constantly running into was having my stamina never regain when getting into a car and I'm glad to say that that issue has been fixed.
I miss this server for a lot of things because of it's uniqueness and there can never be a server to replace diverge in any of it's aspects.
One last apology:
Before I end this I want to apologize to whole groups and people
I apologize for the last metagame I did that resulted in my perma
I apologize to Byte for him having to mainly deal with a lot of the things I was doing and I can recall it came to a point were he would freeze me while he was on character just to deal with an issue that I was intentionally causing
I apologize to MXR for constantly bringing up situations he is extremely uncomfortable with
I apologize to most of the Italian factions for my constant harassment and targeting that came from childish reasons
I apologize for the consistent harassment I showed Kosher on my cop char because at the time I felt like it was a good reaction for play ground insults
I apologize to Lucchese for turning my back on them and going on to main a minge char to seek out ways to ruin other peoples rp like muggings, pk's, and shootouts.
I apologize to Takahaski-Kai for turning my back on them once I wanted to pursue playing on De Leon and lying to Jay's face without him knowing it about never trying attempting to mug some of their members
I apologize to De Leon (RIP) for increasingly plunging them into conflict based off my targeting and selfishness
Another thing I will say sorry for is creating a massive text wall
I apologize to the whole community, Canadian, and Pendred for not being able to hold myself as a model member especially with all the time I have put into this server and the length I have been playing this. I ruined peoples RP and overall server experience.
It has been around 5 months and the severity of what I was doing as well as the actual ban reason has shown. I understand that if this appeal is accepted any rule break would result in an instant perma ban regardless of how small it may be. I have shown after my first perma ban that I can hold some restrain on creating issues and breaking rules, all I need to do is keep that same set of mind "Will this get me banned or not". One last thing I want to say is I can't exactly provide evidence that I will not fall back into what I did pre perma but the best I can give is my word that I won't and the only way to see it out is if I return. If I ever break my word about never breaking a rule and continuing to minge I know it will lead to my immediate removal.
Thank you for reading this
Kind Regards
Chief Sosa, Suburb Aphiliated, Keef, Fupert Rupert, and Kia Nigga
Additional Information (images, videos, etc):