First thank you for your support pearce and you do bring up a valid question,
To answers your question, I said in my appeal it's not exactly that I need to learn the rules more, its that I need a different set of mind to separate from rule breaking like constantly thinking if my actions would have a negative consequence OOC'ly. People I had done some of these things with such as Susan and Ubersoldaten (Mad Max) can vouch that for a certain time I would deny any invitations to do things strictly because I feared it can or would result in me receiving a warning, note, or ban. An example I can provide is after this clip https://medal.tv/games/garrys-mod/clips/28YAIHQ_KoMgYX?invite=cr-MSxjZmQsNzExMDk4Mjg, although everything had already been committed and all of them died, I immediately expressed a fear of consequence to Young Stroker The Body Snatcher and he assured me that they sought us out but regardless my fear came from the set of mind I expressed which was "Would this get me banned or not" and I can recall saying I won't do anything similar for another month. There had also been numerous of times were I avoided multiple opportunities to commit shootings just because I saw that the circumstances may have seemed too baity.
I know I have the capacity to have foresight in my actions but truth be told I can't exactly say whether I will 100% keep a clean record but I do know that if that record is added too, it will result in my removal from this community again. Unless I pay pendred but I know if this is accepted it's going to be like $500 the next time.